Sympathetic Vibratory Physics -It's a Musical Universe!
GoTo Home Button GoTo Master index ButtonGoTo Whats New ButtonGoTo FAQ ButtonGoTo SVPForum Button GoTo Catalog ButtonGoTo SVPNotes Button
In court? Need assistance? Jurisdictionary
FixCreditBiz Repair banner
Your Own Credit Repair Business

Topic: Jokes
Section: Lawyering
Table of Contents to this Topic
Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:

1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"

5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

6. "Did he kill you?"

7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"

10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

11. Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

13. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male or female?"

16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."

19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."

20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."

21. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."

22. Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."

Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."

Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."

Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?"
A: "No."

Q: "How can you be so sure, doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
See Also:

Common Law Course photo
Washington portrait
Ben Franklin photos UBO package
GoTo Home Button GoTo Master index ButtonGoTo Whats New ButtonGoTo FAQ ButtonGoTo SVPForum Button GoTo Catalog ButtonGoTo SVPNotes Button
Delta Spectrum Research
Pond Science Institute
921 Santa Fe Avenue
La Junta, Colorado 81050
FAX 719-383-2920
Toll Free for Ordering 866-604-3463
Contact by email
DSR Logo graphic