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  A Brazilian Dead Soldiers18306.html 

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this evening. He told Bush that three Braz

  A Cowboy Named Bud.html 

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote, mountainous pasture in M

  A Russian arrives in New York.....html 

A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States. He

  A trader and an Investor walk into a casino....html 

Two friends, a Trader and an Investor, walk up to the roulette wheel in a casino

  Abbott & Costello101911.html 

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm set

  Accident124290.html 

A man came to the emergency room with a series of long, jagged tear marks on his

  Accounting70018.html 

The old accountant retired after forty years, and on the top drawer of his desk

  Actor Musicians19127.html 

Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action movie about famous classical

  African pygmy tribe108715.html 

What is the difference between an African pygmy tribe and a woman's track team?

  Aging45848.html 

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surel

  Airplane Maintenance48770.html 

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys t

  Airport Insecurity.html 

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "H

  Al-Gebra47743.html 

TEACHER ARRESTED AT AIRPORT   A public school teacher was arrested today at JFK

  Alcohol, Dangers of88856.html 

A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of a

  Alien Women72066.html 

For his entire working life, a dedicated and hardworking astrophysicist tried in

  American History.html 

Subject: AMERICAN HISTORY It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Ind

  An Apple a Day56194.html 

A doctor and a dentist fell in love with a same girl. One day, the dentist had t

  An Atheist in the Woods.html 

An Atheist In the Woods...... An atheist was walking through the woods.  "What

  An Illegal Mexican, an Iraqi and a Redneck Girl.html 

AN ILLEGAL MEXICAN, AN IRAQI, AND A REDNECK GIRL ARE IN THE SAME BAR. WHEN THE M

  And then the fight started.html 

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her  someplace expensiv

  Animal crackers122081.html 

When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the bo

  Ant trick142210.html 

A man was sent to prison for 20 years. He was so bored while in there; he found

  Antarian86658.html 

Q: How do you know an Antartian has been using the computer? A: There is White-O

  Are You One of 156 Million?.html 

Are YOU One of 156 Million? Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton, Barack Ob

  Arithmetic85378.html 

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission. He kissed her

  Arsenic119236.html 

A lady walks into the drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. "Ma'a

  Asian Trip38719.html 

"Asia was by far my favorite destination,” the woman bragged at the party, thoug

  At Heaven's Gate96067.html 

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an

  Babies79683.html 

Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to th

  Babies110758.html 

Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my

  Baby Coming14210.html 

For weeks a five-year-old child kept telling his kindergarten teacher about the

  Baby on the way129215.html 

A man who's wife was pregnant couldn't bear to be in the delivery room at the ti

  Baby, wanting a111746.html 

A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to p

  Bad and Badder News115170.html 

This guy goes into a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Oh, Mr. Jones! We have t

  Bad Cook15234.html 

A newlywed is trying to console his little bride, who sprawled, dissolved in t

  Balding29089.html 

“I see you’re losing your hair.” “Nonsense. I know exactly where it is – down th

  Baldness9602.html 

Heather: I noticed by this article that men become bald much more than women

  Bank Robbers10821.html 

The bank robbers had tied and gagged the bank cashier after learning the combina

  Banking Problems Explained.html 

Banking problems explained   This simple explanation sounds like it's right on.

  Bar Contest.html 

Bar Contest The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man

  Bar, bear in a13186.html 

A bear walked into a bar, slapped a $50.00 bill on the bar and ordered a beer.

  Bar, Charles Dickens walks into a134530.html 

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Oliv

  Bar, cheap date in a83471.html 

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriend

  Bar, drunk stumbles into a53705.html 

An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the

  Bar, getting knocked down42626.html 

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own b

  Bar, getting revenge8259.html 

A man walked into a cafe,  went to the bar and ordered a beer. "Certainly, Sir,

  Bar, giraffe walks into91778.html 

A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, "mug or long neck?"

  Bar, guy in a93884.html 

A bar owner locked up his place at 2 AM and went home to sleep. He had been in b

  Bar, leaving42261.html 

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible

  Bar, music notes75241.html 

Three notes walk into a bar: a C, and Eflat and a G. The bartender says he doesn

  Bar, not going to45442.html 

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much

  Bar, old man walks into a51945.html 

An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying. The bartender asks, “

  Bar, pick up68738.html 

Embarrassing Situations! A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful wom

  Bar, Robot Bartender9416.html 

A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The robot

  Bar, sad guy in a80002.html 

There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stay

  Bar, skeleton walks into107394.html 

So a skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Barkeep, I need a beer and a mop."

  Bar, three beers in a19439.html 

A man walks into a bar and orders 3 beers. The bartender asks him why he gets t

  Bar, Three Bragging Mice in a61826.html 

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at  night tr

  Bar, two guys drunk in a60076.html 

There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting nex

  Bar, two hillbillies walk into a27266.html 

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. After ordering their cornbread and beans, they

  Barbie in Vegas.html 

Barbie was in Vegas vacationing with friends. She was standing in front of the c

  Bat test69506.html 

Once upon a time Dracula decided to carry some sort of a competition to see whic

  Bathroom Break30338.html 

On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said, “If anyone has to go

  Bats132321.html 

Two bats are hanging in their cave. One turns to the other and says, "Oh, I'm re

  Bears136447.html 

At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody o

  Beauty of Mathematics.html 

*Absolutely amazing!* *Beauty of Mathematics !!!!!!!* 1 x 8 + 1 = 9 12 x 8

  Bed Ridden24387.html 

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you

  Beer Consumption2369.html 

As explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin

  Beer drinkers100282.html 

Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budwe

  Beer Patch54914.html 

Two drunks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer. All of a sudden th

  Being eight again102872.html 

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be eight aga

  Best Friends.html 

Why I Send Jokes More in this Category The man was enjoying the walk, when it su

  Betrayal7368.html 

 A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having

  Better than a flu shot.html 

Better than a Flu Shot!         Miss Beatrice, The church organist, Was in her

  Bettie Sue43140.html 

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on t

  Bible Lesson89654.html 

A father often read Bible stories to his young children. One day he read, “The m

  Big Breaths22984.html 

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly d

  Big Muscles19919.html 

Child: Mom! Can I have a piece of your gum (Certs), please? Mom: Sweetie. This i

  Bigamy.html 

"Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same." --Oscar Wild

  Bikers70853.html 

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large, leathered b

  Bikini130867.html 

Put That Bikini Back On! A rather well built woman spent almost all of her vaca

  Bill's beer money97103.html 

One day Bill Clinton was talking to Hillary. He was going on a vacation and befo

  Birthing pain127106.html 

A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor the docto

  Black Hole47490.html 

Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big black, deep hole. One

  Black Robbers10438.html 

BLACK ROBBERS - True Story                                                 By

  Blazing Jacket38274.html 

Q: Why did the maniac burn his jacket? A: ‘Cause he wanted a blazer.’

  Blind Drivers.html 

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was cro

  Blonde on Plane.html 

A beautiful blonde woman walked onto an airplane and headed for first class wher

  Boobs and Willies.html 

BOOBS AND WILLIES A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his fathe

  Bored Scientist86044.html 

A poet and a scientist were traveling together on a plane. The scientist was bor

  Born Baptist65496.html 

BORN BAPTIST Each Friday night after work, Boudreaux would fire up his outdoor

  Bounced Check15490.html 

A doctor calls his patient and says; "The check you gave me for my bill came ba

  Box of Chocolates8834.html 

Box of chocolates For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were ma

  Brian and Amber.html 

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's

  Bubba.html 

Bubba Next time you go to the doctors, no matter what kind of doctor...Think ab

  Bubba's New Truck.html 

"Bubba's New Truck" One day Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw h

  Bulemia12504.html 

He does not eat like a pig; he suffers from reverse bulemia.

  Bumper Sticker.html 

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

  Bumper Stickers17140.html 

  "IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!"   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Burglar.html 

The Burglar A burglar broke into a house one night . He shined his flashlight a

  Burglar134786.html 

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broke

  Bus Tour65846.html 

May you always have love to share, health to spare, and friends that care. A to

  Cab Ride98172.html 

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on

  California Girl52524.html 

California Girls...Gotta love 'em Four women were driving across the country..

  Camping109465.html 

A rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in he

  Cannibal Diet90120.html 

The missionary arrived in the cannibal village on Saturday, and by Monday night

  Cannibal goes into butcher shop130385.html 

A cannibal goes into a butcher shop to buy something nice for dinner. The owner

  Cannibal's Canoe48514.html 

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eate

  Cannibal....html 

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by

  Car Salesman and the farmer141698.html 

“I don’t want a car,” said the farmer to the persistent salesman. “I need a new

  Cat care112514.html 

A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brot

  Cat Diary29640.html 

The Cat's Diary : Day 183 of my captivity: My captors dine lavishly on fresh m

  Cat for sale99500.html 

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat l

  Cats on the Roof20354.html 

Two prisoners were making their escape over the jailhouse roof when one of them

  Change a light bulb?96472.html 

How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to change a light bulb? T

  Change Course88643.html 

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collisio

  Chelsea in Iraq146001.html 

Chelsea Clinton went to Iraq and during her tour she asked the soldiers what

  Chemistry Lesson124546.html 

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O

  Chicago.html 

"I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee,

  Chicken137358.html 

"Doctor,I have a son who thinks he's a chicken," said the man. "Why don't you br

  Chicken every day105090.html 

After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chi

  Chili Cook-Off.html 

Chili Cook-Off If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's

  Chili Cook-off.html 

If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is

  Chrome Plated 3852866.html 

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed. Grand

  CIA Agent41923.html 

There's a lot to be said about marital bliss... A while back there was an openi

  CIA Agent62594.html 

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, inte

  Circus Act113794.html 

In a circus stunt, a lady and a lion were kissing each other inside a cage. The

  Classified ads.html 

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER: 8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIE

  Clinton117704.html 

It doesn't matter what party you belong to - this is hilarious. From a show on C

  Clinton doesn't live here127874.html 

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsy

  Clocks75394.html 

Q. What did the digital clock say to the analog clock? A. Look, No hands!

  College Girls36673.html 

Joan and her neighbor are talking about their daughters, Joan says, my daughter

  Colored Folk60802.html 

When I born, I black, when I grow up, I black, when I go in sun, I black, whe

  Comeupance8525.html 

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.  He looked up and said weakly:  "I

  Computer Trouble.html 

I was having trouble with my computer.  So I called Eric, the 11 year old next

  Computers are like...54402.html 

Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening wind

  Confessional71479.html 

A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow, he managed to make

  Congress120706.html 

A Washington, DC, airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country i

  Congress on holiday.html 

Ticket Agent Tidbits A Washington , DC , airport ticket agent offers some examp

  Congressmen73602.html 

Two Congressmen are sitting in front of a mirror. One said, "Why don’t we meet

  Constitution84611.html 

ON THE CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq, w

  Courtesy94604.html 

Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car i

  Cow Mechanic21122.html 

A man’s car stalled on a country road. When he got out to fix it, a cow came alo

  Cowboy and the Yuppie50447.html 

Cowboy and the Yuppie A cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when su

  Cowboy lesbian57882.html 

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat s

  Cows84150.html 

ON COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our Government

  Cows, Constitution & Commandments7554.html 

THREE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT: 1. COWS 2. THE CONSTITUTION 3. THE TEN COMMANDME

  Crazy39554.html 

The psychiatrist said sternly to the patient: “If you think you are walking out

  Creation112840.html 

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth

  Criminal Mind41164.html 

“Dad, the career counselor said that with a mind like mine I should study crimin

  Curio Shop11995.html 

Curio Shop A man walked into a curio shop in Galveston Texas. Looking around at

  Cursing Parrot58754.html 

So there's this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean h

  Cussing121474.html 

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. You know what?" s

  Daily Fruit21581.html 

"What’s this daily charge for ‘fruit’?" The hotel guess asked the manager. “We d

  Dallas Cowboys.html 

The Dallas Police are cracking down on speeders heading into DFW.  For the first

  Damn Women Drivers!.html 

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a Woman

  Darwin Awards Candidates45272.html 

Candidates for the Darwin Award!:   Number One Idiot of 2005   I am a medica

  Day off118833.html 

An employee comes into her manager’s office to take a day off from work. The man

  Dead Horse Raffle.html 

"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly Ame

  Deaf Rock Singer13509.html 

Did you hear about the rock’n’roll singer who wore a hearing aid for four years?

  Dear Dad98825.html 

Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very

  Dear Friends.html 

Dear friends, I just read an article on the dangers of drinking.... Sc

  Dear John128926.html 

Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't

  Dearly Departed.html 

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company

  Deep Snow77186.html 

During a terrible storm, all the highway signs were covered with snow. The follo

  Deer Crossing.html 

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local towns

  Delayed take-off144672.html 

Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to

  Dementia Test63618.html 

Dementia test It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. E

  Designated Driver.html 

"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but i

  Dial 911.html 

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George Phil

  Dial 91183842.html 

A frantic woman had dialed 911. “Police, fire, or ambulance?” asked the operato

  Dial 911126336.html 

A man was walking down the street when he came across a body lying on the sidewa

  Diapers6786.html 

Why did the woman only change her baby’s diaper once a month? On the package it

  Dihydrogen Monoxide.html 

What is Dihydrogen Monoxide? Dihydrogen Monoxide: The dangers, uses and potent

  Dilbert Quotes44744.html 

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people

  Disorder in the Courts90754.html 

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things peo

  Doctor visit138114.html 

A doctor taking care of his last appointment of the day gives this man a thoroug

  Doctor's visit133969.html 

A man visiting a doctor says; "Doctor I just dropped in to tell you how much I b

  Doctors142466.html 

Three medical students were discussing what specialties they were planning to go

  Dog and Cat Diaries98690.html 

Dog Diary vs Cat Diary Dog ' s Diary entries.... 8:00 am Dog food! My favor

  Dog Diary29314.html 

The Dog's Diary: 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My

  Dog Fight47234.html 

Uncle Sam and Osama decided to settle the whole war with a dogfight. They would

  Dogs78646.html 

There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihua

  Doing the math.html 

The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided t

  Doorbell46978.html 

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell o

  Dormitory127472.html 

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students: "The female dormi

  Draining the Tub53275.html 

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this shou

  Drawback32898.html 

“How are you getting on with your football, Jack?” “Well, Dad, pretty good. The

  Driving Award86428.html 

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window an

  Driving Blind13954.html 

The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who pa

  Drunk62305.html 

Boudreaux had just spent another evening with his drinking buddy, when he came s

  Drunk103775.html 

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the c

  Drunk111490.html 

A man got really drunk one night in his local pub. The barman refused to serve h

  Drunk Test51562.html 

Take Me To Jail A Georgia State Trooper pulled a car over on I-95 about 2 miles

  Drunk Test53890.html 

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are

  Dry Town.html 

A DRY TOWN In a small midwestern conservative town, there wasn't a place to get

  Duck for hire92339.html 

A duck walks into a job center and says to the man behind the desk "Excuse me; I

  Duck in a bar.html 

Duck in a Bar A duck walks into a bar and asks: 'Got any Bread?' Bartender says:

  Dying Wish87426.html 

A Dying Wish An old pastor was dying.  He summoned the local IRS agent and his

  Ear to ground105346.html 

Read this from Readers Digest a long time ago: One day a cowpoke riding the pla

  Ears123520.html 

One day an employee came in to work with both of his ears bandaged. When his bos

  Election.html 

Q: How many voters does it take to elect Obama or McCain? A: Diebold.

  Elevator Magic24169.html 

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall fo

  Eloping.html 

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely m

  Eloping112002.html 

Why parents drink.... A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to s

  Emergency landing144233.html 

There's a story about a military pilot calling for a priority landing because hi

  Employee notice140674.html 

SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If

  Engineer in Hell44162.html 

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier a

  Engineering61580.html 

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young E

  English68226.html 

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1) The bandage was wound

  English class137858.html 

It was the first day of school after summer vacation. The kids had all arrived i

  Eve's Side of the Story.html 

EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to vis

  Evening out93354.html 

A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They phone for a cab, t

  Ever wonder?106363.html 

EVER WONDER .... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why wo

  Exercise27422.html 

Sign on company bulleting board: “This firm requires no physical-fitness progr

  Exorcist.html 

Know what happens if you don't pay your exorcist? You get repossessed!

  Exposed92523.html 

An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that

  Facts of life123778.html 

"Dad, where did I come from?" asks this 10-years-old. The father was shocked tha

  Failed Toaster28552.html 

“The economy is weird.” Remarked one worker to another. “My bank failed before

  Falsely Accused56706.html 

Two elderly friends, Bill and Sam, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons

  Farmer Joe42882.html 

Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries fr

  Farmer's Advice.html 

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and b

  Farmer's wife119503.html 

This farmer had a wife who nagged him all the time. One day while he was outside

  Feel Like a Woman.html 

It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman... On a recent transa

  Fence Sitters66128.html 

A man visits his psychiatrist and talks about being haunted by visions of his de

  Field Trip117226.html 

Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they

  Find a Mate6058.html 

A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate: “I want a companion

  Fire Drill.html 

"Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to l

  First & Last Date21996.html 

A man taking a woman home after their first date asks if he can come inside for

  Fish141186.html 

Q: What do you call a fish with two knees? A: A two knee fish! (tuna)

  Fishing137602.html 

Two men out fishing for carp. One fellow stands up and as he does, his wallet fa

  Fishing the Park Bench36994.html 

Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a news

  Flat Tire71731.html 

This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores who were

  Flat Tire83146.html 

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After

  Flat Tire136976.html 

A woman's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day so she eases it over on

  Flight instructions134936.html 

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety

  Flight Mishap59010.html 

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable crui

  Flower Mix up17394.html 

A new business was opening, and one of the owner’s friends sent flowers for the

  Fly ball.html 

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's lif

  Flying Ants20090.html 

When a plague of flying ants caused the performance at a variety theater to end

  Flying Photographer50818.html 

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great f

  For Better or Worse115330.html 

Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she st

  For Sale113352.html 

Ad in paper: FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volu

  Forks67970.html 

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POLITICAL SCIENCE 101 DEMOCRATIC You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. Y

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While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck

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“I’d like two pork chops,” asked the woman to her butcher, “and make them lean."

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I needed to ship a package to Virginia OVERNIGHT. The OVERNIGHT fee is $36.60 b

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In a small Texas town, a new bar/tavern started construction of a building to ho

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I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for t

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Preacher An old southern country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting

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An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-y

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PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD Crawford, Texas -- An unexpected flood e

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A man was applying for a job as a prison guard. The warden said, “Now these are

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Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately; illeg

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A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another

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PSYCHIC MIDGET ESCAPES FROM JAIL v"SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE"

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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to ch

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Railroad tracks...     The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rail

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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk a

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The comments of a young mother: Before I got married, I had six theories about b

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Children would all be brought up perfectly if families would just swap kids. Eve

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A 17th Century captain was sailing along with his crew when a pirate ship came o

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A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with two

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Smart man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man +

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"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like

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When his son refused to get a job, his father insisted he join the U.S. Marine C

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There is a knock on the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter looks out, and a man is standi

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What Do Retired People Do All Day? Working people frequently ask retired people

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Retired People Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to ma

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On a trip to Great Britain while he was President of the United States , Bill Cl

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What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 in the afternoon and 3 in the evening? A huma

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ROBBERS (A True Story) One of the best emails I've ever read.... For anyone wh

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Doug had just formed his own rock band, and his little brother said one day, “D

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When a fellow called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the cle

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Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an unidentified ob

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A woman in Atlantic City was losing at the roulette wheel. When she was down to

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A descendant of Eric The Red, named Rudolf the Red, was arguing with his wife ab

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01.  Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I m

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Two lawyers went into the restaurant and ordered two drinks. Then they got sandw

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One CEO always scheduled staff meetings for 4:30 on Friday afternoons. One of th

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A saxophone is like a lawsuit. Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

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A gentleman entered a busy florist shop that displayed a large sign that read “S

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SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE       (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were

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DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you re

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We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one

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THE SENILITY PRAYER: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked an

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I became confused when I heard these terms with reference to the word 'service'.

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A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office. The

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A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, n

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"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!" "

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A man walks into a barber shop and asks; “how much for a hair cut?” The barber s

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A man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.

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Guy: Haven’t I seen you someplace? Girl: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymo

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A man enters his local bar holding a frog and an iguana. He sets them down on th

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Two passengers on a ship are talking. “Can you swim?” Asks one. “No,” says the o

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A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out o

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Sign seen in a veterinarian’s office: The doctor is in. Sit. Stay.

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I am the most athletic skeleton around, no bones about it!

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"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burg

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Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was

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"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can f

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"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that s

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This is a test for Smart People.....I have determined that you qualify. The fol

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A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive

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For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night,

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Quick Wit:  A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding

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A Policeman stops a speeding car and tells the woman driver; When I saw you driv

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A man was pulled over for speeding down the highway, the officer came to the dri

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Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht ore

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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is that cons

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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the

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On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged stork for a long

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John received a free ticket to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately. John's seat was in

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NEW SUPERMARKET SURROUND-SOUND The new supermarket near our house has an automa

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"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that.

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A surgeon was checking on a patient who had a hernia operation three days before

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"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and t

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For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously: 1.    SAVE THE WHALES.  COLLECT THE WHOL

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My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person b

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Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what

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A Taliban was sitting in a cave when he hears over a dune the voice of one Ameri

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A man is walking down the street and sees a sign "talking dog for sale". He ring

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Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time

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Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely

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The Tax Poem  At first I thought this was funny....then I realized the awful tr

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A husband asks: "Why do you weep and snuffle over a TV program and the imaginary

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: "Ok."

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Microsoft Tech Support Employee Of The Month I am sure many of you have spoken

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Q: "Why couldn't the Indian get into his tee pee? A: He had no reservations.

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The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram. Private Jones

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60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats. Chicago people sunbat

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ON THE TEN COMMANDMENTS The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments

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In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn

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TEXAS BLONDES Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position o

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COMPUTER TERMS - TEXAS TRANSLATION: LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter. LOG OFF:

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Texas Drinking Rule A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in

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 The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS audi

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The Bargain Parrot A woman was looking for a pet to keep her company at home. S

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One day a hunter saw a bear and was about to fire when the bear held up his paw

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A young man at this construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone ba

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Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown N

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One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to b

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The Dam This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a

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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer

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Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds.

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A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO

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A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn

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Such a good wife    A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says

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The Half Wit         A man owned a small farm in Saskatchewan. The Saskatchewa

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Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. H

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A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handso

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A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in fr

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The Pastor's Donkey ****************************** The pastor entered his donk

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The Pastor's Donkey A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pasto

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During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his Cardiologist, he info

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The patient staggered to the pharmacy counter flinching. “Say, would you give me

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Dear Bo$$ In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $h

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Do you know the fable about the Rattlesnake and the alligator?    The Rattlesnak

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A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at

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All Seniors Aren't Senile! An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry sto

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One elderly couple is visiting another for supper. The two women go into the kit

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A minister was completing a Temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If

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A very loud, very unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her

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In a darken theater where the suspenseful mystery story was being staged, a memb

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They Walk Among Us ... and they vote I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The cle

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EVERYTHING HAS A GENDER    You may not know this but many nonliving things have

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His father sends a small boy to bed. Five minutes later.... "Da-ad...." "What?"

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1. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll

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The Three Little Pigs Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The wait

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There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wa

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Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. A

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A tightwad was looking for a gift to give a friend. Everything was too expensive

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Kerry the tomcat was scampering all over the neighborhood – down alleys, up fire

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Tools And Their Proper Use 1. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for su

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Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles." Delta 351: "Give us

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LIFE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA A Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and told the

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“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the police clerk

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A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing

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Transfusions American Medical Association researchers  have made a remarkable

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Two guys were riding in a car, arguing about how to say the name of the city tha

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A traveling salesman was held up in the west by a rainstorm and flood. He e-mail

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Two truck drivers applied for a job. One said, “I’m Joe and this is my partner,

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A jet ran into some turbulent weather. To keep the passengers calm the flight at

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Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other s

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There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole -- he would dig,

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Two ghosts were talking. One said to the other, "I think I've been here before."

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1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It. 2. How Do You Catch a Ta

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There were two nuns.. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),and the

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent

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If you get an e-mail with "Nude Photos of Sarah Palin" in the subject line, do n

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A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were t

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A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will”.

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At the vending machine a man put a coin and watched powerlessly while the cup fa

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Ya gotta love it....   This concept would cross over into a wide variety of diff

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Visiting Grandma     A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson, w

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The vocalist was practicing in the church with all the windows open. As she step

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WARNING  FROM PAKISTAN This morning, from a cave  somewhere in Pakistan, Taliba

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It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at

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You Don't Need to Be a Weatherman... It was two o'clock in the morning and a hu

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At an Italian wedding ceremony, the priest asked the bride, “Do you take Franco

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Wee Scottish Tale. A man is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highlan

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer

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The diner was furious when his steak arrived too rare. "Waiter,” he barked, “did

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was p

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The manager of a large office asked a new employee to come into his office. "Wha

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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not

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Two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood. The people

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COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store

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Who's working anyway? The population of this country is 300 million. 160 mil

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Why did the chicken cross the road? BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road

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Why, Why, Why, Because!... Why do we press harder on a remote control when we

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Subject: Computer Hard and Software: Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded fr

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A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a

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At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer

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In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release (by Mr. We

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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

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A woman’s work that is never done is the stuff she asks her husband to do.

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Quote from Paris Hilton: "Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink

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A girl involved with the women’s lib group boarded a crowded bus and one man ros

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"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than m

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Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once again asked readers

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This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star

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The world’s worst conductor was directing up his band during a practice for an u

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A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!

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A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly

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A senior couple decided to go shopping one day, and split their efforts by going

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After gunning his BMW the wrong way down a one-way street, the rather intoxicate

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The Zen of Sarcasm 01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk a



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